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Is the person you just met showing affection too quickly? This could be a sign of love bombing. Check out these signs and how to deal with it.
You’ve met someone who thinks you’re on top of the world. You wake up to their ‘good morning’ text and fall asleep listening to them on the phone. By the time you’re on the fifth date, you’re already planning your wedding with that person because that’s what they want you to think. If you’ve met someone who made you imagine the best they could and flirted with you without giving you any real commitment, we’re afraid you may have fallen into a trap of love bombs.
What is love bombing?
Excessive attention and affection is nothing but love bombing to change someone’s mind about you, explains relationship expert Radhika Mohta. Love bombing refers to tactics of excessive flattery that give the love bomber power and control early in the relationship. It is often associated with narcissism.
The person you’re trying to love bomb may shower you with gifts, praise, and other gestures that make you believe it’s them. However, this is just one way to make someone dependent on a love bomber.
What are the signs of love bombing?
If you’re still wondering if you’ve been love bombed, look for these signs:
1. Undivided attention
If you are in a relationship, you should be the priority but are you the only priority? It’s also not a good sign for someone to get your attention too quickly. If you are the only priority all the time and they want to spend their free time with you, they may be lonely and may not have friends to call, confide in or hang out with, explains Mohta.
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2. They give you lots of gifts
Do they give you unnecessary gifts? Someone who likes bombarding you can give you unexpected gifts as a token of affection. Although giving gifts is a sign of love, someone giving you too many gifts unnecessarily can be a red flag that you are being love bombed. And these gifts are probably expensive or elaborate enough to win you over and grab your attention.
Also Read: 5 Sensitive Red Flags in a Relationship You Shouldn’t Ignore!
3. Future discussion
Does he or she promise too soon? Imagine meeting someone and they talk about marriage and other future plans on the second or third day. It may seem awkward at first but you can skip it. However, this could be a sign that you are being love bombed. Someone might like to bombard you into believing you belong together even though you both have diametrically opposed values, lifestyles, and goals.
4. High intensity
Are their actions stressing you out? Are you overwhelmed by their intensity? Be careful if things get serious too quickly or they call you your soulmate, a red flag that you’re being love bombed.
5. They don’t respect your boundaries
They can’t accept NO. They don’t respect your boundaries. At this point, when you’re not heard, seen, valued or understood, it’s time to address the love bombing, says Mohta.
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How is it different from true love?
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic where a man overwhelms his target with excessive affection, attention and grand gestures, often in the early stages of a relationship. It’s a way of gaining control or validation rather than developing a real emotional connection. A bombshell may display strong emotions to show affection but may lack sincerity. Over time you’ll notice that they all start to diminish and begin to disrespect your boundaries and prioritize their own needs over yours.
In contrast, true love develops gradually through mutual respect, trust, and shared experiences. It is integrity, stability, and a selfless commitment to the other person’s happiness and growth. They respect your boundaries, encourage open communication, and value your individuality. There is no manipulation or control, but a deep emotional bond that nurtures a relationship and makes it last.
Who is more prone to love bombing?
A relationship takes two. If a person is narcissistic/ abusive and loves bombing because of their insecurities/ fear of abandonment and emotional pain from the past. How about another one? The other person is putting up with it because of low self-esteem, they feel that they don’t deserve it, they don’t deserve it, or that this person is very likely to change in the future, explains Mohta.
How to Avoid Love Bombing?
“Love bombing is not fair. This leads to burnout in the relationship when one person constantly carries the burden of validating the other person’s feelings, reassuring them, and surrendering to their possessiveness. It is toxic and unhealthy for the relationship,” explains the relationship expert. Here’s how you can deal with love bombing:
- pause: Take a break from everything going on around you to understand the situation.
- Reflect: If you notice red flags and know your partner is love bombing you, find a way to resolve the issue.
- Listen: How do you feel about this relationship? Listen to your body and mind and hear how you feel with this love bombardment.
- Create boundaries: Now that you know that person likes to bombard you, start creating boundaries and introduce changes in the input level to change the output.
- Consult a therapist: If you can’t navigate your way out of the situation, seek professional help to avoid physical, mental, and emotional trauma.
